Poems

A Sloppy Serenade (AKA: A Poem)

Look at those bells ringing
How they chime
a melodious sonnet rings out
what heavenly sound
we sing
we dance
What does it bring?
What worth could it be?

Perfect
That's all we ask
Yet we fall
Desire overcoming us
Temptations overtaking them
Futile to Resist
Those chimes never stop ringing
We cannot Drown
We cannot Focus
We cannot Counteract

What does this world want?
Why does it have to be you?
Or me?
Or them?
All we ask is that solid sound
That perfect sound
But can we prevail?
Could we succeed?

Just listen to that Chime
What a beautiful sound
What a marvelous site
The sunset reflecting our sad faces
Oh, What a Sloppy Serenade this has become
Listen
Silence
Except for that still, small voice
Let us stand, slip, and fall
Because we were never meant to be alone

---

Hear Your Voice

Gone in the wind,
just hear that bell ring.
All I want to do
is hear your voice sing.

Just one more time,
before I die.
Let me hear your voice,
as I give out one last cry.

Your voice so sweet,
just one more time.
Let me hear your voice,
as soft as a chime.

I'd be so happy
if you'd let me hear
your voice before I die
and see your one last tear.

---

Rain On Us

Rain down from the sky,
like the ocean tide.
Even in the darkest times,
he's there by our side.

Rain down on us,
with all of your might.
We want to be drenched by your rain of glory,
into the darkest of night.

Rain down through the night,
and let your glory start.
We want to see you now;
God rain down on my heart.

Rain on down, oh God,
and let us see.
What you did for all of us,
and what you did for me.

---

Untitled

The blood has come down from the skies
now I have seen it all.
Once believed, now deceived,
a sword through me, I fall.

Everything has come to a halt,
I see no more.
Will I ever love again?
If I'm not loved, why should I love?

The battle has darkened,
we lost, I'm through.
No more love for me,
no more love for you.

---

Rock Strong

Gentle hands cause gentle harm,
we fall as the rocks.
Everything we sow, crumbles.
Nothing prevails, but someone will.

I believe, I live, you go on.
I will stay, never look back
for day after day, it'll come.
But by my love, you'll go on.
and I'll never forget.

---

Useless

I reach out, I try,
I attempt every single day
Bind me, wound me,
Hear me, hurt me,
It's never enough..

I call out and yell
I look around and see no ground
I can't stand this anymore
I'm wounded by your temperance
I look through that stained glass

Please help me
I can't help anymore
Every time I try
Every time it fails
please, just let it go

I can't get past your countenance
I can't live out loud
Free me, Seal me
Lash me, tear me
I am just so useless...

---

Break Through

We never meant any harm
no harm, no foul
That's what they always said
Every day as I walked down that dreaded hallway
Each and every day it became more dreaded, more disastrous
Waking up, I'd get ready for school and have a fight with my parents
who simply just wanted to wish me a super day
but no, I shut them out
I hated and loathed them
I'd walk out to the bus 
waiting, I'd stand there, looking down at the ground
standing by my “friends”
What would it hurt to talk to them?
Anything at all?
But no, they were cruel
and they didn't care
Getting on the bus, I'd get sneers from others
tripping my way now the skinny isle
I'd find a seat to myself, rage just building up inside
Looking out the window, I stared for the long ride
coming over they'd poke me and push me
over and over and over again, until I couldn't take it anymore
I let out a burst of energy that shook the whole bus
My face beat red
Sweat pouring down my face
I'd turn to look out the window again, silence scattered across the bus
I'd get into school and sit in class and get pressured by others again
pressuring others just to look “cool”
I despised and hated them with all of my being
going home every day, yelling at my parents, locking myself in my room the rest of the night
often skipping dinner
I never ate lunch anymore
Sitting at that blasted cafeteria table by myself
Not giving a care in the world
It doesn't matter anymore...
Going home every night, I cut myself
One cut after another, releasing all that hate and anger into who knows what
the taunts never ceased, never got better
I was a natural hater
gripping each day as if it was the last day of my life
I couldn't take it anymore
my parents didn't help
my family didn't help
my “friends” didn't help
God didn't care
Nobody had cared, nobody needed me
That horrible and horrifying night, I cut my arms
Deeper and deeper, again.. and again.. and again..
The blood gushing out, I started to get woosy
Blood covering my arms, I told those on the internet I was gone
I didn't care about anyone, nobody cared about me
I was going to end my life
for nobody knew the pain and hurt and everything that I just bottled up inside..
Then she stepped up
She cared
She knew my pain and troubles, the girl I helped earlier in the year
she told me it was alright
alright to cry
alright to yell
alright to scream
alright to have pain
alright to have anger
alright to have hate
alright to do what I needed
but there was nothing more precious than life
the life that I wanted to take
to take far away from everyone else in the world
For it wasn't that they didnt care
Or that they hated me
it was that I was blind to what was going on
Deliverance, saved me
Friends, saved me
Redemption, saved me
Salvation, saved me
My blindness my downfall
The light that came through, my passion, my willingness
I will never forget those days
For in those days, I brought myself down
and made it back to the top
For now I live
with joy
with peace
with love
with friends
with family
with worldy possessions
with what I have
I will carry on..
for in those days,
I survived
and will never be forgotten
for I made an impact
a solitude
a friendship
Nothing...is greater than that

---

Tried

Exhausted, I run
Tempted, I resist
Bullied, I fight back
Cornered, I cry
Praised, I move on
Disgusted, I yell
Excellence, I strive
Focused, I live on
Honored, I'm proud
Afraid, I'm scared
Frustrated, It's real
Each cut, deeper and deeper
Truth, it hurts
Nothingness, it steals
Deeper, I die...

It's not how we live
It's not why we do it
It's how we go on
It's why we live
Hate to love
Anger to Happiness
Dream...
It's why we live

---

Love

Day after Day, I live
Day after Day, I strive
Day after Day, I hurt
Day after Day, I help
Day After Day, I worry
I yell
I act
I dance
I sing

But those people will always beat down
They will always hinder us
It hurts, but what can we do?
Does what we help help at all?
No, not to any avail

But, our friends will stick up
We will rise and avenge
We will push and pass through
Nothing will ever stop us
For our love is everlasting
Our love is bounding
and our love will never break..

---

Chained Down

I see your face and I cry
I hear your name and I run
I hear your voice and I cut
I talk to you and I stumble for words, broken

Oh, I can't stand it any longer!
Free me from these chains!
Let me run loose like the raging sea!
Let me just hold that one thought, that one touch

Please, stop the pain
Stop all of the suffering!
I can't take it anymore,
My heart is bleeding out!

Looking in that mirror
I see that scarred boy
He's emotional, discontinued
Fragile and Torn, I must flee!

Please, Let me hold you once more
Let me embrace your love forever
I need you now, more than life
I love you more than anything this world can hold...

---

Life's Dismal

Standing around the fire on the cool, crisp autumn night
We try to stay warmer, coughing harder and harder
blood seeping out the corner of our lips
Our faces have gone completely numb with frostbite
We stand straight and tall, shivering with every ounce that we have
struggling to stay alive, we breath harder and harder
with every sneeze it seems like our head is going to explode
like the howling wind blowing faster and faster and faster..
Our hearing is silenced by the ends of the dead trees
as we, too, are dying..
For the growing pain never stops fading away
as we look at Jimmy as he smokes pot until he is so high he can't stand
or Julia who drinks the whole night long for when she is done
she passes out on the cold, concrete floor, almost dead
As every night we go long we cry out to that everlasting light
“PLEASE, JUST LET HER BE!”
But as we know she never stops being that whore
Walking by her at school you can't help but notice her
That gorgeous smile, that long, beautiful, shimmering hair
The low cut shirt and always reveals just enough, but not too much
The girl at every day we called a slut
The girl who walked through the halls, black paint dripping down her eyes
The girl who just couldn't just give up her life
As every night she went home and cut we passed her up
We threw her down and diminished her
we stepped all over her as magnanimously as we did running a marathon
Or throwing a ball with Dad, just to make him happy
Ah, the good old days.
The days where we would go outside and throw a baseball to each other
or just go down the block to cousin Harry's house to play some ball
The days when we constantly loved and adored our parents for what they did and continue to do
We grew up. We stood still and watched time fly. We lied and we schemed
With every breath we inhaled and every step that we took
we shattered our parent's dreams to pieces.
Leave me alone! Stop it! I don't care! I don't give a damn! I HATE you!
Troubled we searched answers we couldn't find
Answers that weren't there in reality, but in our minds and in our hearts
Answers that only if we trusted and had faith would we find them
Answers that only if we believed, we would have found them
Those things in life, they were never meant to be more than they should be
Time and time again, we try to impress ourselves. We try to be what we aren't, what society wants.
No. Let us run and be wild. Let us flee and be no more.
Let us try again. There is only chance in our life
One single chance, just one..
To be the best we can be
That, my friend, is where we will live on..

---

Serendipity

Every time I try, I get slapped in the face
I try to bring it in closer, ever so close
As we walk down the cold dark alley and look at those sad faces
those homeless people, who NEVER had a chance at life
because at every turn they tried, they failed.
Every time they attempted at moving on, they were shut down.
And every single time they tried to make a difference, they were looked down upon.
Spit in the face and dragged away like a screaming child getting ready for a spanking they will never forget
because every time they fail, they give up at life
Bums on the streets, they steal to survive
and that is what our world has become.
Is that TRULY what this world has become?
A world of hatred, fear, anguish?
No self discipline, no perfect land where we may all live together in harmony?
No. Because every time I try, I'll get slapped in the face.
and every time I try to get close, I get pushed away.
and every time I try to become someone I'm not, I'll get sucked in deep
I'll get beaten up. and it'll feel good.
It'll feel good because I know that every time I try to be the best person I can be, I will always get shot down.
Every time I look at that girl, mixed emotions crowd up my brain.
and every time I get that question right in class, i'll be the nerd and the smarty-pants.
and every time I simply write poetry i'll get murdered. I'll get messed up.
I'll get so fucked up that every time I try to do something right, I will never succeed
Just like the blistering hot sun in the middle of the summer eating our skin alive
or as that snake poison slowly fills your entire body from that simple bite
I die. and good riddens, too. Because that is what our world has become.
IS THAT TRULY WHAT OUR LIFE HAS BECOME??
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG??
WHAT NOW???
With hands held high we'll reach out, and it won't matter
because we're too screwed up to do anything more.
“Leave me alone, let me be, I don't care!”
I'll yell and scream like the howling of that storm that billowed through ever so threateningly.
I love you.
It doesn't matter.
Let it go.
... Sometimes there are things we just can't get control..
What is yours?

---

Now Is The Time

Tick, tick, tick, tick
I wait for the 2nd hour bell to release us
I sit forward in my chair anxiously
Just waiting for the moment when that bell rings.
It seems like it takes a lifetime for just one minute to pass by.
Then, the bell suddenly rings and I spring up out of my chair
Rushing out of the door and up the stairwell to where I know my 3rd hour class is
As I approach my classroom, I hear the loud music blaring like at a rock concert
It seemed to be calling out my name, just for one dance
As I stride in the classroom I stop and take a look around.
What a beautiful place this is.
So many marvelous things happen here, and so many great students excel.
I grab a piece of paper and run over to my seat, ecstatic as the class begins.
Mr. Latimer rushes into the classroom and jumps onto the desk giving us a loud, warm welcome, as we do the same in return.
I knew that hour would be splendid, as it is every day.
Whether it is a new song that Lat has compiled for us 
Or a new poem that has been recently written,
Lat inspires us all.
Inspires us not only to be great, but that it’s okay to stand out.
It doesn’t matter what others think.
Do what you think is right and do what is fun.
With every worry in the world, you have enough on your shoulders.
You may keep pushing that boulder up that hill, but even when you come close,
You’ll slip and the boulder will slide down again.
But it’s not about being impossible.
It’s about achieving your dreams.
It’s about being real with yourself, and others.
Sitting through 3rd hour, those starbursts flying across the room
I laugh and smile.
I enjoy life.
For every time we stand up for ourselves, we back down.
We cower in fear, we scream “No I can’t do it, it’s too hard, just leave me be!”
We are never given the chance to uncover the truth.
The truth that springs out inside.
You were NEVER meant to be alone.
As we live today, our society falls like dominos.
Stand out and be proud, for that it what makes us live in life.
Poverty may surround us, but we push it back.
School may bring us hardships, but we continue forward anyways.
For we have the potential.
The potential not only to change our lives, but others.
Others who may not have been given a chance because they father left when they were young, or because they grew up thousands of dollars in debt.
Tick, tick, tick, tick.
The bell rings, but I am not sad.
I know that I tried my hardest.
I may not be the smartest kid, but I gave my piece.
The class may be over, but what is learned in class cannot ever be removed from the hearts of students.
My only wish is to be able to stand out more..
To share and be real and show that now IS the time.
And now’s your chance.
No matter what race
No matter what religion
No matter what nationality
No matter whether you grew up rich, or grew up poor
Everyone has a voice.
Stand up, speak out.
You can make a difference.

---

Breathe

Breathe
When life brings you down
When life brings you troubles
You don't know where to turn
Every corner you go around
Every street you seem to cross
Broken like a pane of glass dropped
Crushed by the atoms we so long to build
Breathe
Covering your friends, your only hope
Express your heart out, let your mind flow
Falling down with gravity's building crumbling beneath our feet
We see and cry
We harm and prevail
Leaving that last chance we had
Breathe
No matter where you are
Crush what you're doing, separate fantasy and spirit
Come on, let's flow
Where your pride now?
Just now the bullet pierces your shoulder
Dropping down on both knees
Morphing our faces into the person we were before
Breathe
Grace shine through our loving favor
Let it go and dissolve our immoral sounds
The Sound of those precious soldiers marching by
Leave us in our peace of solitude, Cry like the man you are
Loving the same we are, failing at the site of your words
Running our race until we are defeated,
We never notice what has become us.
Breathe
Regain your steps
Step up to that pedestal
Watch those faithful sun rays throughout
Even after Hell has come
Write with the hand nobody saw coming
Breathe
Breathe again
You'll never die

---

Released

What prison has kept us here?
Why does each futile attempt seem to drive us closer to what we believe our goal is?
Are we not good enough?
Do we not have the potential to survive?
Driven through the hellhole we once called home.
Mom, why is death so relevant?
Dad, where did the peace go?
Can't we deteriorate in peace?
Walking down the hallway looking at the preps.
Snobs, arrogance consumed within a burning flame of their minds.
Will life never run out?
Leaving my home, I run.
Run as far as I can.
Like the cheetah whom never finds home.
Past the traffic lights that blur my vision.
Against the hurricane winds that threaten to strike me down.
Without any regret or sorrow.
I'm free.
Released from the horde of selfishness I once was.
That weight carried on my shoulders lifted.
That's what I strive for...
Why can't I reach it?
What's so wrong with my life that I needed be so confined and insecure?
I push the wall and bounce back.
We sever our lungs to speak no more of this poison we have taken in.
The same poison those damn preps have received.
Spiraling there downward towards destruction.
I don't want that.
I want to be released into that glorious light.
Yeah, that everlasting light where it never rains.
Where there is never a cloud in the ski nor a salute to the darkness filled in the world.
So bright the devil cries out.
So pure even the depths of Hell cowers beneath the light.
Oh my, what a day.
It's time for bed, but I don't want sleep.
I know what the next day is attempting to bring me.
I don't want a part of it.
We never called for such a solution.
Written down on the tombstones of our life.
We pretend.
Pretending to shine, to have faith.
Just so we aren't viewed as downcast.
But we are.
Oh, we are.
Oh please, release us.
Release me.
I can't go living like this anymore.
My voice drowns out against the wave of our tranquilities.
Let us save.
Let us hear.
Let us speak.
Let us have power.
Let us through the cog of our destiny.
We believe and receive.
We don't deceive or conceive.
Leave us alone to make the day.
Release me.
Because I want my life.
Don't you?

---

Where do we go from here?

My stomach is in knots;
I don't know where to turn.
I cower behind every corner,
Afraid I never got to learn.

I summon up all my strength,
every last bit inside me.
I take that step forward,
but that's when I stop and see.

Where will this corner lead?
Am I going the right way?
Will I face my death?
I don't think anyone can say.

As I ponder about this trouble,
across the street I see a boy.
He stands there all alone,
like an abandoned, forgotten toy.

But then his friends all come;
a smile grows wide on the boys' face.
They run and jump and laugh and play,
he has no worries; nothing's a race.

Then I thought: “Why not I?”
So there my decision was made.
I took that final step;
I thought my life was about to fade.

Into the light, I broke.
The sun in its' beautiful rays.
I have no worries, this is it.
I've lived the rest of my days.

I'm ready to die now;
I've fulfilled my life.
But never ever forget,
don't live in strife.

You only live once,
be as strong as a cast.
For you succeeded,
and you'll never be last.

---

More Poems To Come

Update: I Got my Creative Writing book, and now I'm in the process of typing up more poems/short stories. Just look out for new Poems ;)

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Everything on this page is copyright of Alden Steenhoven. The graphic art was made courtesy of Shimizu. Please do not take anything of what's on this page, and do not edit it. © All Rights Reserved. Thank you.