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My Grim Reaper
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champion
I’m Scared of Me
I’m alone in my pain, alone to drown in my shame.
Am I my own hero?
Then why do I feel as if
This task belongs to another?
Alone to dwell in my past, late
When all the morning noise is whispered.
But there is one who has me open
Is it to good to be true?
What do I do, feels soon, still blue
Because I feel so alone now
But I think about me and how I have
Nothing. What can I offer him?
He doubts me, hell I doubt me and we
I can’t see past it.
Inadequate comes to mind, unwanted
Undeserved, a few others
Gorgeous am I on the outside,
But unsure that I’ll make the mark
Even in the dark, my past screams to my heart “Don’t start.”
I am alone
What am I missing here, why hold back?
I love his voice, his laugh, his heart
But I don’t know if I glow for him,
I want to grow with him
I’m so messed up by my past
I need help. How can one bring
Joy, questions and doubt together
Am I worthy of another and can I managed to not screw this up?
Got answers to figure out, tears to pout and feelings to doubt
I need his connection like the plants need the sun above,
Like Moses needed that dove, I need his love.
I’m a fuck up, they all said it
I’m a statistic they exclaim and a liar if I say different
Maybe they're right. This is how I feel tonight,
Just being honest with myself and others,
Maybe I’ll be average like the rest
Score sub-par in his test. Questioning myself
If I should even try. This is getting serious, him and I.
As I lay in this big bed, I’m content
With no physical companion because I realized I needed more without
Settling. I’m in quicksand, struggling and sinking fast
In my feelings for him. He is my refreshing rain without
The drops, kills my pain, keeps me sane.
I want to be his main and only but I’m doubting me.
So I drown me in school and kids trying to subtract me so that
I squeeze emotions out like before, for so long.
Is saying I love you too strong, maybe just a tad bit too wrong?
Don’t want him to be gone.
